


Take A Step Back

by dragons_and_angels



Series: Fantastic Beasts Kink Meme [1]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-03 02:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8693101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragons_and_angels/pseuds/dragons_and_angels
Summary: Percival had been part of the relationship for a while now but maybe it was time to take a step back. Credence and Newt deserved better after all.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Deanon from the kink meme! Prompt was 'Percival can hardly believe that after everything that has happened with Grindelwald and his own torture and imprisonment he's ended up with not only Credence but Newt as well. In the beginning Percival is more happy than he's ever been but slowly the doubt starts to creep in. Everything that Percival went through had left his confidence in himself very shaken. When Newt and Credence start to spend more time together taking care of the creatures and Newt teaching Credence how to control his magic instead of Percival, the auror starts to feel less like a lover and more like a third wheel. This goes on for days if not weeks with Percival slowly feeling like he's dying inside and both Credence and Newt innocently oblivious. It all comes to a head when maybe Percival in his distracted state gets seriously hurt on a case or Credence and Newt forget his birthday. Either way Percival sadly tries to break things and go with the two men he loves most. Credence and Newt are horrified by what they've allowed Percival to thing and are now hellbent on showing their Percival just how much he means to them. The magical creatures helping them do this is a great bonus!' 
> 
> It's more hurt and less comfort than I expected. Request and first fill (which has far more comfort) are here: http://fantasticbeasts-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/459.html?thread=97483
> 
> Voldemort is far easier to spell than Grindelwald.
> 
> Also, according to the Pottermore website, thunderbird feathers are good for transfiguration and willow wood is for those with great potential but have insecurity inside them. They have the greatest road to travel.

Grindelwald attacking him and locking him away in his own apartment may have been the best and worst thing that had ever happened to Percival Graves. Learning all the ways Grindelwald had hurt people using his face made for some vivid nightmares, but out of everything he got Credence and Newt. He didn't know how it happened, but now the three of them were together for lack of a better word and he was torn between smiling when he remembered them and retreating when he remembered Grindelwald. 

Percival knocked on Newt's case where it rested inside Tina and Queenie's apartment (all the better to anticipate any more creatures escaping) before opening the case and climbing down the ladder when there was no answer. The familiar surroundings of Newt's workshop made him unconsciously relax and he took a moment to tidy the stacks of manuscripts by the typewriter and straighten some of the jars on the shelves. He didn't move anything from the spot, Newt had become very upset last time he had done that, but he made everything look a little tidier. 

That done, he moved into the animal part of the case and it wasn't long before he found Newt and Credence. The pair of them had their backs to Percival, feeding the graphorn family, close enough together for their shoulders to touch. Percival paused for a moment and watched as Credence laughed, his expression surprised as it was whenever someone managed to make him laugh. Well, Percival never really managed to make him laugh, that was all Newt's doing.

Newt's smile could be seen from miles away and it was this that finally spurred Graves on, getting close enough that the two of them noticed he was here. "Percival!" Newt sounded delighted to see him and Graves smiled, both at the enthusiasm and at the fact Newt had managed to restrain himself from using 'Percy' like he wanted to.

"Hello, you two." He greeted both of them with a kiss on the cheek. Newt allowed it for a moment before hurrying over to the baby graphorn, cooing as it licks his hand. Credence looks quietly pleased and stays by Percival's side. "Have you two had a good day?" 

Credence nodded. "Newt talked to Professor Dumbledore about teaching me magic and we went to London to get a wand." He pulled it out to show Percival, pride shining on every inch of his face. Percival stifled his disappointment, it wasn't everyday you got to see someone you cared about get their very first wand, but he could understand why Newt had taken Credence. It wasn't fair to make the man wait simply because of what Percival wanted. 

"What is it?" He asked. 

"It's one of Frank's tail feathers. Newt took a new supply to Mr Ollivander when we went to visit him last week. Willow wood as well. Mr Ollivander says this means I have great potential." Credence's face was glowing with happiness and Percival smiled back, even more ashamed of his disappointment from before. How could he be unhappy when Credence was so happy? 

"I think Newt and I could have told you that before you even stepped foot into Ollivander's shop," Percival gently teased. He ran a hand down Credence's arm as the other man went back to examining his wand, and delighted in how Credence did not cringe away like he had at the start. Maybe he was finally starting to forgive Percival. 

"Credence!" Newt's voice broke the moment. "Can you make sure the diricawl gets fed? You know where I keep its food." Credence nodded and hurried off without a backwards glance at Percival. He looked between Newt, running his hands over the graphorn and talking softly to it, and Credence's disappearing back, and felt strangely out of place. He liked the animals Newt had but he would never have the same passion for them. Still, it was better than going home to a dark, empty apartment with far too many memories, so he headed over to where he knew the mooncalves were. The moon was full above their habitat but as he didn't have any food and wasn't Newt, they stayed at the top of their hill, large eyes looking down at Percival almost reproachfully, as if asking why he was disturbing them. 

Percival waved a hand at them but didn't stop, moving instead to where the curtain of the habitat flapped open. The cold of the snow habitat didn't hit him until he stepped through the curtain but when it did, he took a sharp breath inwards. The Obscurus swirled around, suspended in mid-air by Newt's protective bubble. It was restless and seemed to lunge at Percival as he grew closer. He had never seen Credence use his and probably never would since his magic was being controlled now, rather than being allowed to build up.

He didn't know why he came here. He had stumbled across it when exploring Newt's case and had been transfixed by the restless mass of the Obscurus. So this was what Grindelwald had been after, this was why he had taken Percival out of his normal, structured life and pulled it apart bit by bit. Sometimes Percival wondered what would happen if he touched the Obscurus, let it destroy him and take the revenge Credence himself could not. But he couldn't do that. The Obscurus would destroy the animals inside Newt's case, it wasn't like it could be controlled especially now it was unattached to a person. 

The cold wind bit at him and Percival flexed his fingers, realising with a start that they had gone numb. It was time to go, he had been here long enough. 

The mooncalves were gone when he came through the curtain again and Percival moved through the rest of the case in a daze, though he was careful to avoid the nundu. He got back to the shed easily, only to find Newt and Credence with their heads bowed over some sort of bright blue concoction as they muttered excitedly about venom. Neither of them had seemed to notice he had been gone, or that he returned. Percival swallowed as the out-of-place feeling grew stronger. 

He cleared his throat. "I have to go and talk to Tina about this case we're working on. I'll see you two tomorrow, after work?" He sounded hesitant in a way he never sounded before. Maybe it was being in a relationship like this or maybe it was Grindelwald's voice whispering in the back of his head. 

Newt gave a one handed acknowledgement of his words, not turning away from where his potion was starting to bubble. Credence, to his credit, did glance back but it was only to give Percival an absent, distracted smile before focusing his full attention on Newt. Percival wondered what would happen if he tried to kiss them goodbye but he wasn't feeling brave enough to risk the rejection. Instead, he climbed the ladder out of the case. 

"Mr Graves," Tina said as he came out and shut the lid. She seemed surprised and was dressed in patterned nightwear, clutching a mug of hot cocoa. Her sister, thank the stars, was nowhere in sight. Percival did not think he could handle Queenie reading his mind right now. "I wasn't expecting to see you tonight." 

No, of course she wasn't. If Percival went into the case, he normally stayed there all night. He knew the spells to get Newt's bed to expand to fit all three of them and used them frequently. It must be unpleasant for Tina to see the man who was not only her boss, but also the person who had ordered her and Newt's death. Percival was amazed Newt had forgiven him for that, but Tina had known him before. It must have been far more distressing for her when Grindelwald used Percival to try to kill her. 

"I have work I need to get done tonight," Percival said as evenly as possible. He pulled his coat closer around himself, smoothing the lapels of his jacket in a nervous habit he had never quite shaken. Tina's eyes seemed to soften as she watched him do this. "I'm sorry for disturbing your evening, Miss Goldstein. I will make sure to avoid Mrs Esposito." At least he could use work as an excuse if the wily old landlady caught him. 

"Are you sure you don't want some cocoa?" Tina asked. It was a kind, if insincere, offer but Percival had no problems refusing it. 

"No, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow at work." He left the apartment as quickly as he could, though he lightened his steps on the stairs. Mrs Esposito did not allow apparation in the building, though her wards had weakened to such an extent Percival could if he wanted to, so he waited until he was on the front step, covered by the anti-no-maj charms, before apparating home. 

Compared to Newt's case, his apartment seemed emptier than usual. Percival had torn everything done and redid the whole apartment in a fit of nightmare-induced insomnia. He did not want to move, that felt like admitting defeat, but in every corner of his apartment, he saw Grindelwald. There was the spot where Percival had told him how to get into the MACUSA Building after Grindelwald had used the Cruciatus curse on him for over twenty minutes and there was the spot where Percival had tried to escape but had been too weak. Grindelwald had laughed as he had stopped Percival easily before chaining him to the wall and telling him what he had done to Credence that day. He still couldn't the stink of Polyjuice Potion out of the walls. 

Sleep did not come easily to him that night. 

**

Percival made his way to Tina's apartment automatically. The secretary, Angelina, who used to smile at him as he came into work, now shrank back as soon as he came anywhere near her desk. He had started taking a longer way to get to his office but today he had actually ran into her as they both came around a corner and the fear on her face had made him flinch back. He had apologised and backed off before staying in his office as long as possible. He was starving now, he hadn't had lunch, but he knew it would be better as soon as he got to Tina's apartment and Newt's case. All he had to do was hold it together until he got there. 

Avoiding Mrs Esposito was second nature now and when he knocked on the door, Tina opened it, thankfully still in her work clothes. 

"Mr Graves." She continued to look surprised to see him and he pushed down the part of him that spoke with Grindelwald's voice. It never said anything useful anyway. 

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Miss Goldstein, I was hoping to see Newt." They never mentioned Credence. Now that Grindelwald had escaped from MACUSA, he stayed in the case and they didn't mention his name in public. 

Tina gestured back at her apartment. "Newt left, Mr Graves. He was humming and said there was an infestation of knarls downtown. He took his case." 

Grindelwald's voice grew louder for a second and Percival shoved it away, careful not to let anything show on his face. "Did he say where he was going? Or leave a note?" 

Tina shook her head, an unbearable expression of pity on her face. "You know how he is. When he gets an animal in his head, there's no stopping him!" Tina laughed awkwardly and Percival smiled, though it stretched strangely at his cheeks. Yes, he did know how Newt was. The fact that he had taken Credence along and not Percival meant nothing, it was simply because Credence lived in the case with him. "Do you want to come in and wait for him?" Tina took a small step to one side, revealing her very empty apartment. 

"No." Percival smiled, though this one felt a lot more natural. "Thank you, but knowing Newt it could be the whole weekend before he shows up again. I think I'll head home, Newt might have sent a message there." It was doubtful with his head filled with knarls, but Percival could hope. "Sorry for disturbing you." They really had to come up with a better way for Percival to visit Newt and Credence, it wasn't fair to keep disturbing Tina and Queenie especially when Newt and Credence weren't even there and the sisters could get kicked out for entertaining men in their apartment. Percival resolved not to visit again this weekend unless Newt or Credence sent him a message. Tina and Queenie deserved a weekend out without their boss barging in. 

There was no note at home but Percival really hadn't expected one. His apartment still made his shoulders prickle, this was where Grindelwald had ambushed him after all, but he resolutely ignored the feeling. It wasn't his instincts, it was just his brain tripping up all the time. Luckily he had brought some paperwork home, so that was easy enough to focus on, though he couldn't stop himself from jumping at every little sound. His appetite was gone, but he forced some soup and bread down himself, before getting back to work. 

The weekend passed slowly. There were no messages from Newt, Credence or Tina and any other friends Percival had had before Grindelwald had distanced themselves with good reason. He wrote a letter to his brother, an obligation that stopped his his big brother from making his way to New York to 'check up on him' before heading into MACUSA. There were far fewer people around since it was a Saturday and Percival found himself relaxing. There was always work to do in his office and it made it easier for him to pretend that this was just another work day and at the end of the day, he would go and see Newt and Credence rather than his nightmarish apartment. 

Sunday passed in a similar way. Percival was almost dreading Monday, where there were far more people with their sideways glances and suspicious glares. He had made a sizable dent in his work as well so that would be far less of a distraction than normal. 

Monday morning he arrived in his office, prepared and as ready as he was going to be. He had brought his own lunch this time, no chance of terrifying anyone when he had his lunch break, and Madam Picquery was happy to let him hide as long as he got his work done. He was off field work unless there was a major case and while he would normally be fighting the ruling, right now he was glad he didn't have to work on a team with Aurors who would quite happily curse him as they would to back him up. 

There was a knock on his door and Percival froze in the act of taking off his coat. Nobody knocked on his door, not any longer. They went to his secretary, Jamila, who seemed to be the only person not afraid of him right now, and her wand was coded to the door. 

"Come in!" He called and Tina stepped through the door. "Miss Goldstein." He didn't ask anything but hoped his tone showed his surprise. 

"Newt came back Sunday lunchtime. You were right, he was gone pretty much the whole weekend," Tina said as soon as his door closed behind her. "Now that he's back, do you want to come over tonight? See th-him?" 

For a wild moment, Percival considered refusing. See how long it took before Newt and Credence came to visit him. Would they even notice he was gone? But he shook the thought away. He missed them, despite seeing them only a few days ago, and he couldn't face going back to his apartment knowing that he could be with Newt and Credence instead. "If that's okay," he said cautiously. 

Tina beamed as she nodded. "Great. I'll see you later then." 

Percival watched her go with a sense of bemusement. Tina and her sister were more alike than she wanted to admit, they both knew what they wanted and were happy to direct people to the correct path. Her confidence had only grown after the Grindelwald mess had happened and she had been reinstated as an Auror. He shook his head and settled down at his desk. 

Monday went a lot faster than the weekend and Percival packed up at five o'clock sharp in order to make sure no time was wasted. He could spend all night in Newt's case if he wanted to, there was nothing stopping him. He did not have to go back to his Grindelwald-haunted apartment tonight, he was going to be with people who wanted him. Or at least liked him. 

Tina wasn't there at her apartment, but Queenie was. Percival hastened to strengthen his Occlumency shields, ripped to shreds as they had been by Grindelwald, before smiling at her. "Hello, Miss Goldstein." 

"Mr Graves. It has been an age since I have seen you!" Queenie grabbed his arm and pulled him in, ignoring his surprise and discomfort at the casual touch. "Can you stay to eat? Or have some hot cocoa with me?" 

Percival felt it would be rude to refuse, especially since he was always intruding like this, but he really wanted to go and see Newt and Credence right now. Queenie laughed and playfully slapped his arm. "Oh, it's fine, honey. You go and see the two of them, the cocoa can wait until another time." 

He froze before testing his shields. They were flimsy and tattered, holes allowing stray thoughts to barrel their way through - the opposite of his normal, rigid shields. "I'm sorry," he said, apologising for both the state of his shields and the rudeness of his thoughts. Queenie seemed unbothered, simply waved him towards the case sitting on the bedroom floor. Percival hesitated, opening his mouth again to apologise, but when she started to pull her dress off with her wand, he hurried towards the case. It might be bad manners to refuse his host's offer but it would be even ruder to watch her undress. 

The first thing he noticed inside the case was Credence snoring on the bed. The man was curled up under one of Newt's quilts, his face slack in sleep, and his hair askew. Percival hadn't seen him for a while but he resisted the urge to card his hand through Credence's hair when he noticed the black circles under Credence's eyes. He let the man be and went in search of Newt. He wasn't with the usual creatures and when a pair of Knarls ran past, giving Percival suspicious looks as they went by, he started to walk back towards the shed. 

There was a flicker of gold in front of his face and he jerked his head back as a round, golden bird with red, jewel-like eyes hovered in front of him. Man and beast stared at each other for a moment before the bird darted off, its flight path fast and erratic. Newt came charging through, right after the bird, and left Percival having to follow behind like a peculiar sort of ducklings following their mother. 

"Newt!" Percival said, a little irritated as he had been completely ignored as Newt had scrambled over and through every single habitat in his case. 

"Shhh," Newt said. He had paused and was now staring up at the golden bird with an awestruck expression on his face. "Percival, do you know what that is?" 

"A magical bird of some kind," Percival answered. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the semi-horrified look Newt sent his way. "What is it, Newt?" 

"That is a golden snidget." 

Now Percival could understand Newt's excitement and he turned his attention back to the bird, looking at it with newfound appreciation. The Golden Snidget was incredibly rare, even Percival knew that, after being hunted to extinction for its use in Quidditch and its feathers and eyes. "And you found it here in New York?" 

"Yes, when we were dealing with the Knarl infestation. It will have to go to the snidget sanctuary in Wyoming. Credence and I are going to take it down there later this week but until then we have been watching it all the time to observe its habits. Snidget sanctuaries are so hard to get into, you have to forfeit your wand and everything, and there is no way I could get Credence in when I don't have any papers for him. This is the best opportunity to be able to observe the snidget." Now Percival looked closer, he could see dark circles under Newt's eyes as well.

"Have you slept since you caught the snidget?" He asked.

Newt waved a hand impatiently before making a note in his notebook. He still hadn't looked at Percival once. "Too excited. When Credence is awake, he watches the snidget and I care for the other animals. I've tried to sleep but I just don't want to waste a moment when I have a snidget here with me." 

Newt had descended into his world where nothing existed apart from him and the animals. Percival, who was barely tolerated by most of the animals here, was useless to Newt at this moment. Grindelwald's voice spoke up and Percival suppressed it with ease of long practice. The wizard wouldn't ruin this moment for Percival. He had never seen Newt so happy, and though he felt guilty for not feeling the same, it still was a special moment. 

Then what Newt had said registered. "Wait, you and Credence are going to Wyoming?" 

Newt nodded. "Yes. We'll go on Thursday, that way we'll avoid the Portkey rush. It will be good for Credence to see something else in America apart from New York." He wrote something else down in notebook as the snidget started to pick up diricawl's feathers in its long, thin beak. "We would have invited you but you have work to be getting on with and we can't hold the snidget here for long. I've layered it in protective charms but I want to keep the nundu away from it." 

"How long will you be gone?" Percival kept his voice even. 

Newt shrugged. "A few days. We'll probably be back on Sunday." The snidget suddenly took off and Newt was close behind, not taking his eyes off the snidget as he ran which made for some interesting trips and falls. Percival watched him go and tried not to feel angry. It wasn't Newt's fault that the thought of spending a weekend in his own apartment make him feel sick. No. He would simply work this weekend again, it would be just like before. 

Credence was still asleep when Percival went to check on him. For lack of anything else to do, Percival went to see the Obscurus, careful to conjure up his hat, scarf and gloves this time. Watching the swirls of the darkness was soothing, in a way, and it allowed Percival's mind to empty. He used the time to strengthen his Occlumency shields and it was only when he had stopped shivering that he thought he should go and warm up. 

Newt was nowhere to be seen and Credence was sleeping. It was nearing ten o'clock by Percival's watch and there was no reason to stay here. He left a note for Credence and Newt, he didn't want Credence to feel like Percival hadn't wanted to see him, before heading back to his apartment. 

**

Tuesday and Wednesday passed much the same way. Whenever Newt or Credence were awake, they were focused on the snidget or the other beasts and Percival felt ridiculous for being jealous of animals. He spent most of his visits looking at the Obscurus, making sure to stay at least ten feet away at all times so he wasn't even tempted to touch it. He never spent the night in the case, instead battled his nightmares at his own apartment, and went to work each day, drained and exhausted. 

Everything changed on Thursday when Madam Picquery came into his office personally and said all the Aurors were busy and he was needed on a case. 

"Are you alright with field work?" She asked. Her gaze was piercing and far more intense than even Queenie's. 

"I will be fine," Percival said, to himself and Madam Picquery. He would not let his weakness damage MACUSA or hurt those he loved again. Grindelwald had returned to Europe and Percival had been a competent Auror before, and he would be again. He knew how weak he was now and could fight against it, make sure no one else would suffer. 

It was a simple raid on smugglers by the docks. Several illegal potions were being smuggled in and Percival and the other two Aurors had to be careful not to hit any of the boxes. One explosion of potion and the whole place would be blown sky high. 

"You two go round the back, I'll draw their fire at the front," Percival murmured. There were no objections from the other two Aurors and they disappeared into the shadows, wands raised. Percival kept his footsteps light, using the same technique he used on Mrs Esposito, and walked down the aisle in between the boxes. Everything was silence, the noise muffled, and Percival felt the back of his neck prickling. His eyes had adjusted to the dark, so he kept his Lumos charm on low. No need to advertise where he was. 

There was a scuffle in front of him and Percival raised his wand, dousing the light as he did so. 

"Fucking Aurors," a man's voice swore before there was a crash of a bottle and Percival's world was filled with green light. 

The next thing he knew was Tina's voice. She was talking about him and recovery, there was talk of a potion. Percival knew this was a conversation he wanted to be a part of so he forced his eyes open, though he closed them straight away as his retinas burned from the light. 

"Mr Graves! You're awake." Tina sounded much louder now and Percival took several deep breaths before opening his eyes again. Someone had dimmed the lights and he found it far easier to focus on Tina's face. He sat up and was bemused at the lack of aches and pains a visit to the Infirmary normally merited. 

"Hello, Miss Goldstein." He looked down at himself. Still dressed, no blood or tears in his clothes. "What happened?" 

"You got hit by an unknown potion," the Healer standing next to his bed said, interrupting Tina before she could say anything. "All we can tell is that it's non-fatal and it has a delayed reaction of about twelve hours. We would normally keep you for observation but there has been an influx of injured Aurors. Do you have someone at home who can keep an eye on you?" 

Percival knew there wasn't but he nodded anyway. Spending any longer in the Infirmary was not something on his wish list. The Healer looked pleased, handed him a list of reactions to watch out for and come back in if needed, before hurrying off. Normally they weren't quite so abrupt, but they did seem busy and it wasn't like Percival was actually injured. He felt fine. 

"Do you want me to come and make sure Newt comes out of the case?" Tina asked quietly. Percival turned to look at her, surprised. She grinned. "Come on, give me a little credit. I realised as soon as the case disappeared that Newt was staying with you. It's about time." She looked pleased, despite her teasing tone. "It's going to be strange having the weekend all to myself for once. Well, myself and Queenie." 

Percival realised several things at once. Newt and Credence were in Wyoming but Tina thought they were in Percival's apartment. Her thinking this was the only reason she had let Percival's lie to the Healer go, she hadn't realised it was a lie. Percival telling her would mean she would have to sacrifice her weekend to look after him when there was probably nothing that needed to be done. Either that or it would be something disgusting and embarrassing - he wouldn't inflict his ill self on anyone, let alone Tina who had put up with more than enough. 

"You'll probably have a better weekend than me," Percival said in an amused tone. Nothing to worry about, he projected. Everything's okay. "Anyway, I probably should go home and start getting everything set up." Tina let him go with a smile and wave and Percival managed to keep up his own smile until he had apparated back to his apartment building. He carefully didn't think of Newt and Credence in Wyoming together as he headed up to his apartment and started to prepare the bathroom. His bedding went into the bath, dried food was stacked underneath the sink and he layered protective and soundproofing spells over the walls and doors of the bathroom. 

As one last spell, he changed the bathroom to look like Newt's shed before putting his wand up on the top of the medicine cabinet. It was Newt's shed, or a likeness to it, he was safe here. He wasn't in his apartment where Grindlewald held him for over two months. This was not the same bath Grindelwald had trapped him in for days at a time, mocking him as he soiled himself and only allowing drips of water when Percival begged. No. He wasn't there, he was inside Newt's shed and just outside were all his magical creatures. Not the Snidget though, that was on its way to Wyoming with Newt and Credence. 

Grindlewald's voice grew louder and Percival clamped his hands over his ears as he curled up inside the bath, trying to block the noise out. It did no good and soon Grindlewald's laughter filled the bathro-shed. It was Newt's shed. Credence and Newt would be back soon and everything would go back to normal. They would be happy to see Percival and maybe they would even touch him. Nobody touched him anymore apart from them. 

The walls started to swirl and warp in front of Percival's eyes so he closed them, blocking the images out. But Grindelwald's voice was louder still with his eyes shut so he opened them again, only to recoil at the sight of the walls dripping blood. No, this wasn't Newt's shed, it was his bathroom. Newt's shed was safe, no one has gotten in and attacked his creatures. But if Percival was in his bathroom and not in Newt's shed, that meant he wasn't safe. Grindelwald could get him. 

He stumbled out of the bath towards the door but it didn't open. His wand, he didn't have his wand. Defenceless, at Grindelwald's mercy. The walls were bleeding and when Percival pulled his hands back, they were covered in blood. Credence was dead, Grindelwald had killed him using Percival's face. Oh, he must have felt so betrayed when he saw Percival raise his wand against him. Newt was gone, fled with his animals, good. He hated Percival now and what he had done, but at least he was safe. Newt had always preferred Credence to Percival and now for Credence to be dead...

Percival bent in half, the pain driving him to his knees. Credence was dead, Percival would never see him again. It would be better if he and Newt were somewhere else, if they had run away together to be happy. They didn't need Percival for that, all he did was hurt. 

The little Barebone girl was in front of him now, crying over how he had killed her brother. He reached out a hand and she slapped it away, hatred in her eyes. She screamed and Percival covered his ears. Everything went black and silent for a while.

Percival woke up on his bathroom floor. He didn't know the time and didn't particularly want to. Instead he used the toilet, ate and drank something before settling down into the bathtub. His hallucinations were not real, though there was a part of Percival urging him to go and make sure that Newt and Credence were okay, but they had been alarming. It was better for Percival to wait in his bathroom until he was sure he was no longer a danger to others. 

He fell asleep, ignoring the pain in his hands. 

**

The crash of the bathroom door woke him up and he pushed himself to his feet in time to see shards of his door fall gently to the ground. Tina came marching in, wand raised and Percival didn't know whether to laugh or to scold her for entering an unknown situation without backup. 

"Hello, Miss Goldstein," he said. His voice was far more hoarse than he had expected, he might have been shouting before. He retrieved his hand from the top of the medicine cabinet and noticed his hands for the first time. Bruises and cuts along the knuckles and whenever he moved them, he could feel a sharp pain which suggested more than one broken bone. 

"Mr Graves, are you alright?" Tina looked around at the bathroom. Percival dismissed the illusion before she could look too closely and was relieved to see that the bathroom was still intact. The mirror was cracked as if he had punched it, probably likely, but the cup of water rested on the sink and there were empty food packages stacked under the sink. 

"I am fine." He climbed out of the bathtub and gave her a smile. He felt so tired, like he could sleep for a week, and his whole body felt stiff. Probably from sleeping in the bathtub. "What day is it?" 

"Sunday afternoon." TIna's worry was now being overriden by anger. "Imagine my surprise when Newt and Credence turned up and said they hadn't seen you since Wednesday." 

"Yes, I thought summoning them back from the snidget sanctuary was overkill when I could handle the potion's effects perfectly well." He was quite pleased with himself. He had neutralised his own weakness effectively, he seemed to have remained in the bathroom, no one had called to check up on him so the soundproofing spells had worked and all the people he cared about were able to have good weekends. 

"When you knew Newt or Credence couldn't stay with you, you should have told me," Tina said, forced calm evident. 

"The potion's effects included hallucinogenic qualities. There was a high risk of you and other people getting injured if I had mistaken you for an enemy. Since the Healer had said non-fatal, I had thought I would be able to ride out the effects myself." He raised his wand and started to fix the broken bones of his hands. The bruises and cuts looked alarming but weren't anything more than sore now. 

"Oh, Mr Graves, your hands." Tina sounded distressed. Percival could reassure her, after he was done. 

"Are Newt and Credence at your apartment?" He asked as he started to fix up his other hand. He was looking forward to seeing them, despite everything. 

"No, they're here in your living room," Tina said and Percival immediately felt the cold finger of fear up his spine. They couldn't be here, his apartment wasn't safe. Grindlewald was loose and knew where Percival's apartment was, knew how to get in. Especially if Credence was here. 

"Can we go to your apartment?" It was an imposition but Tina did nothing except nod. She looked surprised when Percival asked her to get Newt and Credence back to her place, he needed to tidy up the bathroom, and he would meet them there. That earned him a narrow-eyed glare and a threat of breaking and entering if he didn't do so, but Tina trusted him enough still to do what he asked. 

The bathroom was easy enough to tidy but Percival took his time as he showered and changed his clothes. Anything to put off the upcoming conversation. The knowledge that he was the one to initiate it was not comforting. 

Tina did not try to engage him in conversation when he arrived at the sisters' apartment, simply pointed at the case lying in the bedroom. Queenie gave him a cheery wave which he returned before bracing himself and climbing into the case. 

Newt's shed had the same welcoming aura that, no matter how many spells he cast, Percival would never be able to replicate. It was more than a little bittersweet, knowing he would probably never see it again. Newt welcomed his friends down here with abandon but Percival had no special talent with magical creatures and it was likely to be more than a little awkward even for Newt after the breakup. 

He stepped into the creatures part of the case, feeling a sense of deja vu as he caught sight of Credence and Newt feeding the graphorns. He cleared his throat and they both turned around. 

"Percival!" Credence said, hopping down to land in front of Percival. Credence looked him up and down, obviously searching for injury and Percival was glad he had thought to heal his hands completely before coming over. "Are you alright?" 

"I'm fine. I'm sorry Tina worried you." He kissed Credence on the cheek and wrapped Newt in his arms when he came bounding up. "Did you have a good weekend at the Snidget sanctuary?" Both Credence and Newt's faces brightened and they started talking, both too excited to let the other one finish before diving in. Percival smiled, his heart aching, as he put his hands up in a slow down gesture. "It sounds like a good weekend." 

Credence's face clouded. "We would have come back though. If we had known you were hurt." 

"I wasn't hurt, I just had to take a few days off work." Percival was careful to keep his voice light. "If I was really hurt, they would have kept me in MACAUS Infirmary but instead they sent me home. I was very bored and slept a lot but otherwise the potion had barely any effect on me." It was a lie but considering the upcoming conversation, Percival thought he could be forgiven for it. Credence and Newt both relaxed, neither of them realising his dishonesty. "Anyway, I want to talk you two." 

"What about?" Credence blinked. 

Percival hesitated and he saw Newt's eyes sharpen on his face, though his gaze skidded away when Percival tried to look at him dead on. "It's about the three of us and our relationship." Percival took a deep breath. This was more painful than he thought but he had to be brave. "And about how you two don't need me to be happy. Your relationship would be so much better and stronger if I wasn't a part of it." 

"W-What?" Credence asked. He looked like he had been struck with a Body Bind curse and Percival glanced at him, worried he was going to faint. 

"Wait," Newt said. For once, his whole attention was on Percival and he delighted in being the centre of Newt's focus even as he hated himself for the delight. "Walk us through how you came to this conclusion." Newt was angry and the anger was a sting at the same time as being a relief. Maybe Newt being angry would end this painful conversation a lot sooner and Percival could leave the case. 

"The two of you have been perfectly happy this past week when I wasn't around." Percival kept his tone calm and even. If he was a different person, he could cry and scream and rage against how could they shut him out like they had and think he would be okay. "I'm not an important part of the relationship, you don't need me hanging around all the time." 

"You've been around," Credence insisted. He looked like Percival had punched him in the gut and his stunned hurt just made Percival's own gut twist. 

"No, I haven't. I work, come into the case, say hello and then go into the snowy habitat. Then I come out, say goodbye and go back to my apartment. Then I do it all over again." Percival would have been happy to continue doing that if he didn't think it would endanger Newt and Credence more than it protected them. They would be safer and stronger without him. 

Newt ran his hands through his hair. "You can't just--" He cut himself off. "So, you decide whether or not this relationship is over and we should just go along with it?" His voice raised and Percival could see the animals behind Newt shift restlessly. 

"No! Your relationship with Credence isn't over, but it would be better if I step back." 

Newt made a disgusted noise and threw his hands up into the air. "Are you kidding me?" 

Credence's indrawn breath was the only warning Percival had before he was thrown to the floor, his sleeve and arm slashed. The griffin reared up, ready to take another swipe since it appeared their prey wasn't dead yet but Newt had thrown himself in front of it. 

"No, Bertie! Don't hurt him!" 

Credence was trying to control the other animals who had objected to the man who made their Mum upset and Percival realised this was it. He couldn't come back into the case and the creatures were Newt's life. If they couldn't accept Percival, it was only a matter of time before Newt saw the reality of it. His presence there was just making the animals worse and more worked up, so Percival strode towards the shed, dodging the Fwooper's grab at his head and climbed the ladder to get out of the case. 

"Do you want some hot cocoa, Mr Graves?" Queenie offered when he came out of the bedroom. Their eyes met and her smile drooped. "Oh," she said quietly. Percival was sure his composure and his shields must be in tatters but it hurt to have the realisation thrown in his face. 

"No, thank you. I'll see you two on Monday." He did not look back at the case as he left. 

**

His apartment somehow became worse than usual, now that Percival knew he could never leave it. He had no work, Tina had forbidden him from bringing anything home in his suitcase on Thursday, and he couldn't settle to the wireless or his books. Instead he cleaned and scrubbed and did laundry, all by hand rather than by magic so he could do something to keep busy. It took hours and Percival had just collapsed on the couch, finally exhausted enough to possibly sleep, when someone knocked at his door. 

If someone knocking on his office door was unusual, then it was even more so when it was his apartment door. He made up a timed message to go to Tina and then raised his wand before answering the door. Newt was standing there case in hand. 

"What are you doing here?" Percival asked. 

"The creatures are fine by the way," Newt said, obviously still irritated with Percival. He pushed his way in without a word and accidentally hit Percival with his case as he did so. 

"They were getting worked up because I was there," Percival said. "You got them calm because I left. I still don't know why you're here, we finished our conversation." It was not an experience Percival wanted to have again, it had hurt enough the first time. 

"No, you talked and expected us to go with it," Newt said quietly. He was still angry, that much was obvious, but Percival was right here. Credence and Newt would do better together than with him in the mix and it would be better for everyone if they just accepted it. Newt put the case down and knocked on the lid. 

"He can't come out here," Percival said, one arm outstretched to keep the lid of the case down. "Grindlewald knows where I live, who knows what he has done to the apartment, and he's escaped." 

Newt stared at him like he had lost his mind. "Grindlewald has been spotted in Europe. I don't think even he could apparate across the Atlantic. And if you're so worried about Grindlewald, why haven't you moved out of this flat?" 

Percival set his jaw. Reasons chased themselves around his head, each one more ridiculous than the last, though all were true. "I won't have him chase me out of my home." Though it was less like his home everyday. "He already did his best to destroy my professional reputation, I wasn't going to let him have this as well." He already had Percival's peace of mind and his dreams, though he neglected to mention those to Newt. 

"Look, we have to have this conversation and it's either in the flat or down in the case." Newt gestured sharply. Percival considered the pros and cons of each but eventually it was the thought of what Newt would say if his creatures got injured attacking Percival again that had him pulling his hand back and allowing the crate to open. Credence climbed out, slow and steady. 

To see the two of them in Percival's flat was excruciating considering what was to come and instead Percival stood up and offered them a drink. Both Newt and Credence blinked in surprise so Percival made up some coffee, without magic just to draw it out. Newt looked displeased, but took the coffee without a word, while Credence took one sip and proceeded to add cream and sugar by the spoonful into the cup. 

"Percival," Credence said quietly after the three of them had sat and drank their coffee in an awkward silence for a long few minutes. "I'm sorry we've been ignoring you this past week." He kept his head down when Percival glanced at him, both hands curled around the coffee cup. 

"Credence, that's not why we're having this conversation," Percival replied. "A Golden Snidget is a once in a lifetime opportunity, I understand why you both wanted to focus on that." He glanced at Newt, who seemed to soften at this explanation. "But it may me realise that you two fit together in a way that works. I'm not really a part of that." 

Newt and Credence exchanged glances, then Newt spoke. "Look, words aren't going to really do much here. We can say you're wrong and it's never going to actually sink in until we've proved it over and over again. Are you going to let us prove it?" 

Percival hesitated and once again the realisation that Credence was dead at Percival's hand came back to him. He was weak though, he had managed to leave Newt and Credence once but he couldn't do it again. "Fine." 

"A little more enthusiasm would be great," Newt commented dryly. "You have to promise that you will talk to us and let us show you. In return we will promise that we will make sure you aren't left out in the cold." He glanced at Percival sharply as if a thought occurred to him. "Why did you go into the snow habitat?" 

"I needed to rebuild my Occlumency shields and that was a peaceful enough place to do so," Percival explained. 

"Queenie said- " Credence paused and restarted hesitantly when Percival and Newt waited patiently for him to finish. "Queenie said you saw some things when you were infected by the potion. What did you see?" 

That was not a subject Percival wanted to get into but if he ever wanted Newt and Credence to understand what Percival was saying, about how he didn't fit with the two of them and how he was worthless in the relationship, then he needed to expose everything. Every dark thing Grindelwald had sown into him, every cowardly impulse Percival had had, everything. "I got memories. Or things that hadn't happened yet. So I didn't see this happen but I felt like it had already happened." Percival took another sip of his coffee for strength. "You were dead, Credence, by someone wearing my face. You hated me, Newt, for killing Credence." It was strange how something which had haunted him for so long, the potion had to draw it up from somewhere after all, could sound so bland in so few words. 

"But it wasn't you," Credence said, sounding confused. Newt fidgeted. "I don't understand why Newt hates you for that." 

"I wouldn't and I don't," Newt said strongly. Percival kept his head down. "Look, can we go into the case? Now we've had this conversation, I would prefer all three of us to sleep together and that bed is not big enough for all three of us." 

"Newt, is that such a good idea?" Percival shifted from foot to foot. "You know what happened last time." 

"That's only because the three of us decided to have a loud argument right by them. I'm not surprised they got annoyed." Newt was already going down into the case and after a brief mental struggle, Credence climbed down first and Percival next. 

Newt had disappeared as soon as Pervical came to the bottom of the ladder and he tried not to let the stab of disappointment show on his face. Credence was still here, doing something with the bed. "Can you make the bed bigger with that spell you use?" Credence gave a wistful glance down where he kept his wand and Percival did what he asked without a word. The bed now resembled more like a king sized one than the narrow single of before. 

Newt came back from feeding his animals and closed the door behind him. Credence had got Percival into bed, both of them dressed in their sleepwear, and Newt slid off his jacket and suit before climbing straight into bed. The lights dimmed. 

"We aren't complete without you," Newt whispered. It sounded louder in the dark. 

"Don't leave us," Credence added. Percival let their warmth sink into him and let himself believe, just for a moment, that he could have this.


End file.
